Links:

myspace.com/theblackout

  

Salutations reader,

 

I'm Sean Smith from the band The Blackout. I have been asked to write a few words on things that drive me loopy/infuriate me.

 

I HATE NU RAVE!

What the fuck is Nu-Rave?

Of all the Nu-Rave bands I have ever had the discomfort of listening too, none of them had any rave parts!

Seems to me Indie has so many bands that it has to invent genres to make new bands cool. The Nu-Rave bands of today are just any old jingly-jangley Indie bands but with Synth’s. So why is it called Nu-Rave? Surely it should be called SYNDIE?

But that’s probably not cool or edgy enough.

I just can’t get my head around why they have either the NU or the RAVE in the title of this new genre? There’s nothing new about quirky Indie and there’s nothing new about synth’s.

At least with the now extremely hated NU-METAL I could understand the tag for it. It’s a new form of metal. There were elements of metal and the idea of rapping with metal was a new idea, therefore Numetal.

So from now on I will be categorising genres and bands into the parts I hear when listening.

 

eg:

Enter shikari = metal + rave = MAVETAL

Hadouken = Grime + Dance = GRANCE

Klaxons = Indie = INDIE

Hot Chip = Indie + keyboards = KINDIEBOARDS

The Blackout =  Rock + Bad faces =  RAD!

 

See so you can get my drift, try it its fun.

 

 

Now I’ve got that out of my system its time to vent some more.

Another thing that drives me totally doolally is INTERNET ABBREVIATIONS!

I don’t mean things like LOL and BRB because they kind of serve a purpose. It saves you writing three words in a short space of time but it does put into perspective why people around the world are getting fatter because if they can’t even be bothered to type a whole word, why should they be bothered to get up and go for a jog?

Before now I’ve read posts where people have missed out one letter. ONE FUCKING LETTER! How lazy is that?

I can’t be bovvered to type the H in thing. It must of saved them a least a millisecond missing it out. Actually thinking about it its probably cost them a few seconds thinking how can they actually leave a letter out.

Some people reading this might not understand the words of which I speak, so here's Sean's guide to some internet bollocks (he has seen while probably looking for some sort of animal porn):

 

BLATEZ (blatently)

AMAZE (amazing)

GARRAN (Guarantee)

APPARAN (apparently)

OBVZ (obviously)

 

Even the misspelling makes me die a little inside.

So please friends, I beg of you, just take two seconds of your time to finish the words that you are using to tell someone how fabtastical (fabulous, fantastic and magical) they are looking in their latest facespace picture and the world wil becum a much betta place an we kan liv 2g4 in armoney. (the last half of the sentence is me trying to get through to the kids that are already affected.)

 

 

DEATH METAL BANDS LOGOS!

I listen to a lot of different music, ranging from hip hop to death metal, to the odd bit of dance music (don’t judge!). So this isn’t a scathing attack on the genre of death metal, but their use of that bloody spiderweb-looking font.

 

I was walking through a city not so long ago and I saw a t-shirt with a band name on it that was so spikey and unreadable that I must have looked at it about 20 times. Glancing away and back so I didn’t look like I fancied the bearded weirdo (beardo); even when he had walked passed me I kept looking at him. In the end I nearly burst a blood vessel trying to work out what it said. I know it was probably something like FOETAL CORPSE EATING BLOOD SMASH but I still would of liked to have known what band it was.

I might start a petition to get these band to put a translation at the bottom, for us non-spiky waffle reading people.

Actually I like the idea of confusing people so much I'm thinking of designing one for my band. Just spending hours making the best looking mix of swords and sharp pointed objects laid out on a spiders web. It wont even say the bands name, and at the back of the shirt in brackets it will say It says The Blackout on the front of this shirt.

Available at a gig near you soon.

 

As they say in Llandow, Ciao for now.

 

Smooches

 

SS

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